What an unmitigated disaster. The latest dish from Recipes for Love and Murder was Beef Wellington, except they use kudu instead of beef in the show. I was not going to attempt hunting down kudu, and since I’d never made Wellington before, I chose to go old school.

It all seemed to be going so well. It was a lot of work and the result, meat stuffed with mushrooms and herbs and wrapped in pastry, promised to be good. It was not. I don’t think I had a good cut of meat, which certainly accounted for the taste (very dry and bland), and I also think it was much too big and awkward a lump of flesh.

The recipe made me cut into the flesh and stuff the mushroom mixture into the centre of the meat, which made a big mess and is not how a Wellington is traditionally made, if other recipes are anything to go by. The instructions for how to roll and fold the Wellington are also pretty sparse. Nevertheless, I still felt pretty pleased with the result before popping it into the oven. I even managed to shape my initials with pieces of dough and place it on top. But when it came out of the oven and I cut into it, I was none too pleased. It was still edible, but I had to drown it in a lot of hot sauce to make it more palatable.

It’s a running joke that English food is not very exciting, and my tasteless foray did not help this cliché. But I’ve also made coconut ice and parkins, scoffed many a scone with tea, and love Marmite on toast*. So, while I won’t be trying a Wellington again in a hurry (if ever), there are many other classics that keep me from beating on the “British is boring” drum.

Views expressed are my own. All opinions are my own. The opinions expressed here belong solely to me.
Words and images: Claudia Hauter
Feature image: Claudia Hauter, a shot taken during location filming on Recipes for Love and Murder season 2.

*But Marmite was invented by a German. #justsaying